I don’t know about you, but I have more crushes on fictional characters than I can count. From my first loves (such as Gale in The Hunger Games and Rose in Vampire Academy) to my most recent obsessions (like Angel from I Was Born For This and Alex from Red, White & Royal Blue), it’s become apparent that maybe I just need to… message these people? Like, ask them on a date?
We all sit around talking about our fictional crushes, but we never DO ANYTHING ABOUT THEM. So I decided to join an online dating service, message all my crushes, and ask them out. I can’t believe how easy it was to find them! Who knew these people were just looking for love as well?! Fingers crossed I get some replies from these messages.
(Please note that this is just a bit of fun! I don’t endorse sending unsolicited messages to people who aren’t open to receiving them, nor do I endorse relationships with people who are underage. These messages are 100% fabricated.)
Frances Janvier | Radio Silence
Hello. I hope somebody is listening.
(In other words, hi Frances!)
Firstly, let me start by saying I absolutely LOVE your style. Seriously. I need those Monsters Inc. leggings! I must admit, I’m a massive fan of the podcast you work on with Aled Last (but I’m not just messaging you because I’m a fangirl haha) 🙈
ANYWAY! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet up sometime? It looks like we have the same taste in movies and TV shows, and I know they’re doing a screening of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure at the Astor Theatre in a few weeks. I’m not sure if you’ve seen it, but it’s a comedy about time travel and history, and I think it’d be right up your alley 🙌🏻
Henry “Monty” Montague | The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue
Nice costume! Was that an 1800s themed party, or are you just a history buff? Either way, I love it 😏
Not only did your profile stand out to me because of your clothes, but I also saw you love travel and you recently went on a tour of Europe? That’s so cool! I LOVE travelling too, and I’d definitely be interested in hearing more about your adventures. Didn’t get up to too much trouble, I hope! 😉
There’s a really cool ball coming up with a historic theme, so I was wondering if you’d like to join me? I think it’d be a lot of fun—and you already have the perfect costume, by the looks of it! Let me know what you think!
Lila Bard | A Darker Shade of Magic
I must admit, I’m a little nervous messaging you because you seem really cool and TOTALLY BADASS (whereas I’m just an introverted bookworm) but I thought I’d reach out anyway! You said you’re an aspiring pirate—that’s so cool! I love sailing and the sea, and I thought we could have some epic adventures together 🎉
There’s an amateur yacht-racing contest coming up next month, and even though I think you’d prefer being a ship captain, it could be a lot of fun! We could even wear costumes and practice our knife-wielding on board as well. What do you think?
Looking forward to hearing from you soon!
Will Herondale | The Infernal Devices
On your list of interests you put “killing demons” and “sassy remarks”, two of my favourite things. I’m guessing you’re a Buzzfeed Unsolved fan too? Or are you more of a Ghostbusters guy? And I gotta say, you certainly look better in black than the widows of our enemies. I have to steal that jacket off you! Plus, your tattoos are super unique. Are there meanings behind the symbols?
There’s a really cool ghost tour happening at that haunted jail this Halloween—do you want to go together? We could totally wear all black and take the swords you’re holding in your profile pic, just in case we run into any demons. I promise there won’t be any ducks involved 😂
Trixie Watson | The Only Thing Worse Than Me is You
Just wanted to start off by saying that I love all the TV shows you listed on your profile! Buffy and Doctor Who are two of my favourite programs of all time. I only just finished watching Buffy for the first time this year, but gosh, I LOVED it! Next on my to-watch list is Firefly 🙌🏻
You probably know this already, but Jodie Whittaker is coming to this year’s Comic Con, and I was wondering if you’d like to go together? We could organise the most EPIC costumes for the day. If you were keen, we could even enter the cosplay contest—we’d make an epic Doctor and Yaz (do you ship them as well? haha) 😍
Who are your ultimate bookish crushes? If you were to ask them out, what would your first date look like? I’d love to know!