Book slumps are the WORST, right? Whether they last a few days, a week, or even longer, there’s nothing more frustrating than not being able to fall in love with a book – or even be able to decide which one you want to read in the first place. If you’ve ever been in a book slump, I think you’d agree that it would be easier to have one of your favourite characters killed off.
So here are some of the signs to help you recognise if you’re in a book slump!
You can’t decide which book to pick up. Decisions are your enemy.
Choosing which book to read is hard at the best of times. When you’re in a book slump though, deciding on a book is WORSE THAN DECIDING TO BUY THE U.K. OR THE U.S. SPECIAL EDITION OF A DARKER SHADE OF MAGIC. Yep, we’ve all been there. I don’t know about you, but my choosing process is similar to the choosing ceremony for the Hunger Games: you dread it, you fear it, but most importantly, the person (or in this case, book) isn’t guaranteed to be the one you read because other books seem to leap off the shelves and volunteer themselves. Decisions are basically as hated as President Snow, and like the tributes, none of them last very long.
All the books you try to read seem more boring than a half-assed three-star review.
That feeling when you’re in the midst of a reading slump and you try and pick up a new book and your eyes just glaze over and you end up thinking about how meaningless your existence is for two hours? YEP. THAT’S THE WORSE. But just everything you try to read seems so similar to what you’ve read before, and you can’t concentrate long enough to even really give it a go. It’s like your brain is going ABORT, ABORT, ABORT. *long sigh*
But… Netflix. I need to finish binging Parks and Recreation. And Black Mirror. And rewatch Stranger Things.
NETFLIX IS THE REAL ENEMY TO MY PRODUCTIVITY. You want me to read? As in, move my eyes? Attach meanings to random letters from the alphabet that are strung together? Imagine a situation inside my head, using nothing but my own imagination? Pfft. Whoever thought of that genius idea had obviously never experienced the wonders of Netflix. Besides, you have to know what happens in that show you’re watching, right? And what about that show your friend recommended to you eight months ago? Isn’t it time to start binging that? I mean, it would just be plain rude to decide to read instead. Come on, Netflix is just a tab away.
Replying to a tweet ends up taking three hours. Now you’re on YouTube. Nope, now it’s Wiki How. Now you’re buying 14 new books you definitely don’t nee—PUT AWAY THAT CREDIT CARD.
If you’re in a book slump, chances are that you didn’t even make it this far into my post. You’ve probably realised you haven’t watched the latest trailer for Black Panther and then somehow will inevitably end up on some online bookstore, but if I still have your attention, DON’T GIVE INTO THE TEMPTATION. I know it’s hard to resist impulsively buying books online, especially when you’re in a book slump and the ONLY book you want to read is one you don’t have, but I’m here to stop you. Unless you’re supporting a great author or your local bookshop, and in that case, GO AHEAD! SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY! You don’t need to spend it on inessential stuff like food or rent.
You haven’t tried making a soufflé in a while. Food is necessary, right? You can’t read without properly fuelling your body first.
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO READ WITHOUT A SNACK. I MEAN, COME ON. LET’S BE REASONABLE. And when you’re in a book slump, it’s even harder to read without a snack you’ve been craving. Maybe it’s a donut from that store forty minutes away, maybe it’s a dish with 78 ingredients you’re just really in the mood for. Spending four hours preparing the right snack to have while reading is probably a fair indicator that you’re in a book slu—OH MY GOD IT’S BURNING.
It’s probably time to reread the entire works of Cassandra Clare again. That’s only, like, 15 books or something?
Sometimes you just have to pick up the right book to get rid of your slump. Sometimes you just have to reread that really long series, ya know? Just to feel alive again? And sometimes you just get that urge to reread one of your favourite books. But some reading is better than no reading, right? And if it helps you end that slump, that’s all you could hope for. Even if it takes a solid month to go through the entire works of Cassandra Clare.
Do you get in book slumps? How do you know when you’re in one? What do you to get out of them? Do you have a go-to book you read when you feel a slump coming on? I’d love to know!